You Can Blow Your Assumptions Out Your Ass!
I love Daniel’s post. It hit’s the nail right on the head. But out of everything he said, I want to focus on one thing.
“I think Seth is the reason you’re chucking your “marriage” and moving away.”
Well, not exactly. People have told Daniel, me, and I’m sure Steve what it looks like. Daniel and I are always together because we enjoy each other’s company. Before I moved here, I was around my best friends CONSTANTLY. When I enjoy somebody’s company, I like to be around them as much as possible. I really don’t care what it looks like. I don’t care if people think Daniel is leaving Steve for me. I don’t care if people think Daniel and I are moving to California to be together. YOU ARE WRONG!
What I do care about is if someone has something to say to me, SAY IT TO ME! Don’t talk about me behind my back, don’t write it on a blog, and don’t make an assumption without knowing the facts. I have been thrown into this mix and now fingers are pointing at me. So, I’d like to send out a big ole FUCK YOU to those who think I am the “catalyst” to what’s going on here. Both Steve and Daniel have admitted to the downfall of their “marriage” long before I came into the picture. I have an opinion too, and dammit I’m allowed to speak too!
Some people are just upset because they don’t know where to point the finger of blame, so they pick the easiest way out, me. Just because you can’t put your finger on one single thing that made their relationship end, people choose to blame me. Which is a pathetic attempt to an answer. Try looking at all angles of the situation. Hell, both have admitted to the relationship going down the shitter years ago. If it had been someone else that moved in here, they would have been the one people pointed at. I would really like it if people would stop referring to the gay handbook and thinking Daniel is leaving Steve for me. Bottom line is, their relationship was doomed long ago.
Maybe, just maybe, this situation is actually just this. Their relationship came to it’s inevitable end, starting years ago. When a relationship ends, both parties have to start over, one decides to move away to start over. In this situation, Daniel’s family is in Fresno. Why not move there? Get over it people! This shit happens all the time!
And another thing, to this one particular person who says Daniel is being selfish for moving away, you can stick that in your pipe and smoke it! Just because someone wants to start over somewhere else, doesn’t mean they’re being selfish. Some people just don’t stop to think outside of their selfish box that he’s giving up stuff too! He’s moving to a place he hasn’t lived since long before I was even born! He’s giving up a house, a good job, pets, things that he’s accumulated over the years, and above all, friends that he can go and see anytime of the day. To those people who think it’s all about them, you need to quit being so selfish, thinking it’s all about you, because it’s not! There are other people and factors involved! Quit playing the “woe is me, how do you think this makes me feel” card. That’s bull shit!
See, this is one thing that’s really pissing me off. I have always been a fair person. I look at both sides of a situation and I make my determination. I don’t judge and I don’t pick sides, but I take things for what they are when I see BOTH sides. I just wish some people would give me the time of day, and the same respect I give, to listen to what I have to say. No, they can’t do that. They are either too pig headed to listen or are comfortable with not knowing the entire story.
If someone chooses to not listen to what I have to say, within the bounds of accusing me for one thing or another, then there will be no love lost when I leave and you were never truly my friend. So, keep thinking along your train of thought. You just need to realize that you’re sadly mistaken, narrow minded, and pretty damn selfish yourself for not thinking outside your little comfort zone.
Bottom line, I can’t wait to move. I am very excited about it. I’m also excited to get the hell away from all this petty drama. Who needs that kind of needless stress in their life?
So, if anyone thinks if Daniel is leaving Steve for me, you are SADLY mistaken and you need to reassess the situation.
Posted on May 8th, 2008 by Seth
Filed under: Friends, Common Sense, Today's Rant, Our Writings, Just For Fun, Uncategorized
Does writing on this blog count as not saying something to you in a blog? I mean, you just said a whole avalanche of things to people…in a blog….
Anyway, I think “going down the shitter” and “doomed” are harsh and discount a lot of valuable things in my and Daniel’s relationship. I don’t think any outcomes are inevitable, they are results of choices made or not made. Daniel and I did not communicate effectively at certain stressful points in our relationship. That led to a downward spiral that led to the end.
It is was it is, and I have learned (as I know Daniel has too) a lot about what’s good for a relationship and what isn’t.
Now, what we choose to take from this experience is up to us.
People naturally react in extreme ways, they have a tendency to take sides, and yes, to blame. In my own writings on my own blog I owned up some time ago to my share of that blame.
When you say you were “thrown into this mix”, that’s a bit misleading too. You made the decision to come here, and are making the decision to leave. And no one is making you pay one more bit of attention to any speculation on the “drama” than you choose to.
It’s hard to take seriously a call for everyone to quit crying “Woe is me” when you paint yourself as the “accidental tourist” who wandered into the middle of particularly spicy production of “Private Lives”. I have repeatedly told people Daniel is not leaving me for his new lover and taking off for California. I’ve also made it clear there were deep seated problems before you even arrived. I will not sit idly by and have you say “This has nothing to do with me at all”. Give people credit for at least a little common sense. So they don’t know the particulars, so what? So they make wrong assumptions, people do that in the heat of emotion. Launching a big “FUCK YOU” to everyone doesn’t help anything but make it sound like “He doth protest too much…”
My bottom line is this, I wish you both well in your new lives in California. Through my own journey in this, I have learned a LOT, and I am still learning. But something I learned a long time ago is I am the one responsible for the outcomes of my own situations. People can guess, assume, point fingers, and there’s not a damn thing we can do to stop them. If you want to let there opinions shape your outcome, then you can only point the finger back at yourself.